In my hunt for Christmas gifts, I came across a number of really out of the ordinary and generally useless products that I think would make horrible gifts. I can’t speak for the rest of the world (some people may actually like this stuff, so no offense to any of these companies), but let it be known…Elicia Buzz asks that for the sake of your loved ones’ overall happiness this Christmas, please refrain from giving any of the following items as gifts:
The Hog Wild Self Stirring Mug
This one is a bit cheaper at only $14.95, but why not just grab a spoon? Unless you are buying this for an 8-year old who drinks a lot of chocolate milk…bad gift.
For $12.99 you can buy your special someone a dog tag etched with the “crucial data an alien will need to get you back to Earth” should you be abducted by aliens.
The Complete Swiss Army KnifeÂ
Looking for a gift for the multi-tasker in your life? Well, this may be a great idea at first, but with a price of $1,400, you might want to think of something else. 87 precision-engineered tools spanning 112 functions will overwhelm even the most talented handyman.
 
Jerome Russell Spray On Hair Thickener
Do I even need to say anything here? You might as well buy spray paint or tell the recipient to shave their head.
Kleen Stride Personal Debris Removal
Unlike the Spray On Hair Thickener, this gift is actually a joke (found it on the Onion’s website). I’m sure there are a handful of folks out there that have thought to themselves “Damn! I totally should have applied for a patent. That was my idea!”
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For $49.95 your loved one can celebrate the holidays with the best home cooking they could ever ask for.
Honorable Mention:
Pretty much anything having to do with bacon is awesome. I love bacon as much, if not probably more, than the average person, but a bacon wallet? Bad gift. Apparently this is pretty popular - the website that sells it says it is out of stock.
Good luck with last minute shopping and merry Christmas!
My family got me a rubber chicken with a peg leg and eye patch. The chicken is wearing a pirate’s hat, holding a sword in one hand with a “hook” hand, and drinking what appears to be a bottle of rum in the other hand. He is also wearing a red and white striped shirt. Oh if you squeeze his “beer belly” he makes an awful chicken moaning sound. They told me that they got him in a pet supply store. Hilarious
Wow, nice family.
Interesting choice indeed. Did they decide that Maya didn’t like rubber chickens and decided it would be perfect for you instead?
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